De-clutter With Simplified Clothing

As the site says, Simplified Clothing Midwest Love, and it couldn’t really be any clearer. This Metro Detroit suburban rebel label aims to give conformity a kick up the ass whilst simultaneously shelling out a hug or two to the dudes and dudettes who couldn’t give a damn. Life can be bland no matter where you are but suburbia can be most stifling of all, with neither the bright lights of the big cities or the freedom to roam of the wide open countryside, suburbanites learn to amuse themselves in a unique blend of wannabe metropolitan style tinged with a little yearning for a sleepy Sunday laying out in the backyard. Sunny days with planes making tracks in the skies, the radio blaring, itching to get going but enjoying the peace. Where the hell shall we go this weekend? God, don’t say the mall again? How about taking the train up town and catch a movie, or a club maybe? No, the night buses are full of puke and weirdos and everyone who’s got a car wants to drink. I’ve been there, suburbia, a strange kinship, restrained by regret and times wasted wanting. But things are changing, suburbia’s sources for fashion once appropriated from other more glamorous locations, finally gets its own back, putting its own homespun cynical philosophy on the garish and gaudy stylings of wannabe celebs and loft apartment dictators who have nothing better to say than ‘Look at me, I’m fabulous!’.

Simplified Clothing is a Mid West collective gunning for a placement in their own home turf and beyond, mixing up highly graphic inspirational art with plenty of nods to sneaker and skater culture, yet always staying true to their roots of suburban America. De-clutter that mind, turn your back on the busy streets and follow the rainbow that leads to where the grass is greener and sliced up like pieces of apple pie. It’s a neighbourhood barbecue for the soul, it’s a street party of the mind, it’s Simplified Clothing.

Airplane Tee

See what did I say? Planes roll over suburbia like the old man’s mower does the lawn, it’s a fact of suburban life. Airplane is a simple yet highly effective t-shirt design and even hypnotic in its own humble way. I just got back from Morocco the other day and the first thing I noticed there were the lack of planes in the sky, well that’s a lie, actually it was the crazy drunk Arabs, starving cats and dogs and deserts, but after those it was the sky and the distinct lack of planes. Now I know they do the ozone damage, (ban them, ban everything, live in a cave and wait to die) but in a twisted kind of way I missed them rolling over. If you live under a flight path you are free to (virtually) throttle me for that glib and meandering personal observation, but it’s true. Suburbanites need signs of civilisation. Airplane evokes a modern totem, a sign, a symbol of what we are as a race. Ants with gadgets. We are tiny but we can move fast, and we have things to do. As a kid me and my friends would lie on the lawn in a heatwave and stare at the sky and as they made shapes from clouds, I’d imagine where in-flight passengers were heading and why. I used to suppose they were politicians trying to solve wars, inventors with urgent blueprints for amazing technologies, stars of music and film off for an interview or ten, or wealthy bankers eager to inspect their newly purchased Bahamian islands. They weren’t, they were just like us, pedestrian nobodies trying to get away for a week or two, sick of the 9 to 5, tired of the boss on their back, fat families with hyperactive kids, and tourists who couldn’t wait to crawl back home to ultra-familiarity. Sometimes it’s better to imagine than to actually do it yourself. Take flight to SC and grab hold of an Airplane tee for $25 in Harbour Blue and Cream (S-XL) here.

They offer free shipping on all their tees too – I’m guessing for the USA though. Still it’s a nice gesture from this laid back and groovy collective. Anyway here’s another simply divine tee for y’all.

Jump Rope Tee

I love the way that SC use the ‘canvas of the t-shirt’ to it’s full potential. The images may be simple but they definitely know how to make an impact, this time with a Jump Rope hanging from the shoulders, casual, relaxed, very chilled and with a frissance of humour, this is probably one of their most powerful designs. It doesn’t mean anything, it doesn’t have a message, although I can imagine a few gyms or even a local government busybody on fitness eyeing this up as a candidate for hypeing some kind of get fit campaign. Girls used to jump rope a lot down my way, way back when, they’d chant all this junk about who they fancied and who was gross, and the lads would stare, and stare, hoping for a flash when they fell. Things have changed, now it’s more likely guys doing the jumping, it’s got real aggressive over the years. I blame the whole Double-Dutch craze of the Eighties, although that was cool, except now there’s always a Schwarzenegger type skipping a trench in the floor at a million miles an hour down the local gym. I’m naturally skinny, I got it from my dad, I sometimes get a little bit of a gut if I eat too many carbohydrates, but I can live with it. My GF on the other hand (as well as plenty of her mates) is always fretting about fitness, she’s signed up for a gym recently. Their literature reads more like a religious cult, Ministry of Fitness and Health. Hallelujah. Oh well, I suppose I just don’t want to live to a ripe old age, so if I do start dribbling, pooping my pants and repeating myself, repeating myself, repeating myself, shoot me. Get Jump Rope in Cardinal Red (S-XL) for $25.

Take Care Tee

I honestly don’t think life is any more dangerous now than it was a generation ago, in fact it’s probably safer. It’s the Chinese Whisper effect, except everyone is doing it all the time and they’re shouting. We can blame the media, I usually do, but the truth is they’re only part of the problem. Imagine you’re in a public square somewhere, anywhere, a park, the city, you choose. Say there are just a few people milling around, an old guy feeding the pigeons, a woman strutting by mumbling with a mobile phone clamped to her ear, the proverbial starry-eyed couple out walking their puppy, the usual suspects. Then suddenly a few hundred feet away you all hear a scream. There’s a tremor of panic, everyone stops, those nearest to the sound might rush over, most will ignore it though. Now repeat the scenario with hundreds, or thousands of people, one scream, most of the rest will carry on as usual. But what if a thousand people screamed in terror? Then it’s all-out panic, it’s the end of the world, if a 1000 people scream then it must be serious. That’s how modern society works, if someone is robbed, murdered, raped, and it’s in an environment anywhere similar to yours then society has gone down the pan. On the other hand, if it’s in a third world country, if thousands of people have been killed in Angola or Senegal, or if Korea fires off another missile, or China decimates a small percentage of its own population, then it’s business as usual. The truth is people take care of themselves, governments, corporations, the famous, the rich, they all do it too. There’s no such thing as philanthropy any more. If Bono or Angelina or any celebrity ‘does some good’ it’s great PR, it puts bums on seats, it sells movies and DVDs, it’s great business. It’s a real shame we don’t take care of each other or nature or the world as much as we do our clothes, but with the population count fast heading towards nine billion by the next generation who can blame us. Oh well. Take Care, a great t-shirt at $25 (S-XL) in Charcoal Heather.

Murder Mitten Tee

Let’s end on this tee, Murder Mitten, which ingeniously uses an outline of a map Michigan State to point out Detroit’s dubious claim to fame as a Murder Capital of the USA. According to Wikipedia ‘…the Detroit Police Department routinely under reports homicides through omissions and incorrect classification of crimes. The number of homicides was 368 for 2008, for a rate 40.7 per 100,000 residents. While this represents a significant decline in the murder rate from 2007, it still ranks Detroit as the Murder Capital of cities with more than 500,000 residents.’ So much for the glamour of the city. I love the concept here, I don’t want to be a killjoy but the gun needs a little work perspective-wise, but still a powerful t-shirt. The fact is that the more people there are the more murders will occur, it’s been that way since time immemorial. The nature of the argument might change, the weapons might evolve, but people remain the same – if they’re fighting Holy Wars, decimating empires or building them, controlling borders, clawing for food, energy or simply territory. We are animals after all. Take away what we disguise ourselves with, clothing, language, architecture, science, remove it all and we’re back to banging each other over the head with sticks and rocks for a slice of woolly mammoth. I used to imagine us trekking across the galaxy one day, planet-hopping, exploring the deepest recesses of space, but these days I just don’t think the human race deserves it. In all honesty we’re screw-ups, we’ve screwed up ourselves and each other, the planet, and just about everything we can get our hands on. I’d hate to think of us a millennia or two down the line doing the same in far greater numbers on every inhabitable planet we can get our greedy mitts on. Let’s call a truce, let’s not defend ourselves, let’s just sit down, have a pow-wow, pass the peace of pipe and work it out. Oh no the that sounds a bit familiar actually – okay let’s just build more casinos and fleece the pale faces for all they’re worth and then dance on their graves until the sun explodes. Murder Mitten, evocative if not a tad flawed, get it for $25 in Black (S-XL) in collaboration with Invisible Bully.

Chill out, simplify, I need some of that, maybe you do too after my incessant ranting. Take it easy at Simplified Clothing