Swine Flu? In Case Of Emergency Wear A T-Shirt!

admin    T-Shirt News     T-Shirts, swine flu, zombies

Not any t-shirt mind you! T-shirt designer extraordinaire Tony Cavalier of ZombieStars.com has just sent me info on his latest designs, one of which is as current as you can get, the other, well let’s say the other maybe a glimpse into the future if the pandemic runs rife! I always wondered about pork, it’s a cheap meat, the smell of cooking bacon led me back to the dark side after my early venture into vegetarianism, yes I was the tender age of 11 and lived on Pot Noodles and Quorn for 2 years before nearly dying from malnutrition.

A piece of advice – if you do decide to become a vegetarian make sure you love vegetables! I can eat anything now including veggies and dreaded pork products and am still wondering if perhaps I and every other ex-vegetarian had caused this latest apocalypse with fervour for bacon sarnies on a Saturday morning.

Another worrying thing is our cats, in fact no cat I know of in the local area (I feed a few strays down the road (when they look skinny and desperate) refuse to eat pork, bacon, in fact anything to do with piggies. Perhaps they’re from a feline sect of the Jewish or Muslim faiths, funny that how certain religions have always turned their back on pork, maybe there is something in it? I even caught a clip of a 1976 health warning film from the USA the other day warning against Swine Flu, so I know that someone somewhere must’ve been waiting for this latest outbreak for a long long time.

Who knows if the disease transfers from human to human we may all be up the creek without a paddle, then again it seems you have to literally roll around with pigs to get infected, so as long as I stay away from any farms, wear a gas mask and one of Tony’s tees I should be fine…

To learn about the evolution of the Swine Flu disease and it’s possible effect on the human race check out Tony Cavalier’s two hilarious t-shirt designs on offer now…

Swine Flu T-Shirt

So in stage one of the disease (according to Tony) it seems that pigs WILL fly, and whilst they’re airborne they will proceed to vomit over the population of the earth. Look out for chopped carrots, mud, and general household waste raining from the sky in your local area. The British government have asked all Brits to carry an umbrella around with them at all times, this was standard practice along with wearing bowler hats until recent history when global warming and one financial recession after another meant most of the UK’s population could afford neither and turned to the traditional knotted hankie as a hot weather alternative for head protection. Unfortunately the knotted hankie affords no protection against airborne Swine Flu vomit and so umbrellas are fast selling out across the country. There have been reports of zombie-like customers, mainly old age pensioners queuing outside empty branches of the now defunct High Street chain Woolworths which sadly closed recently after being useless at selling goods of any description to anyone.

There is an old adage that humour is the best medicine, if this has any truth to it then we would advise buying and wearing on of Tony’s Swine Flu t-shirts, at least there will be more chance of a light-hearted bon homie during the final days of the snout-nosed Armageddon. If you’d like to grab one (before it’s too late) then head on over to swineflu.bigcartel.com and order yours now – due to security and health protection measures this t-shirt is currently not available for four-legged animals. There have been reports of pigs disguised as cats and dogs using bogus credit cards from an unknown offshore banking company named “The Piggy Bank”, if you are a pig please do not attempt to purchase one of these protective t-shirts, if found wearing one you will be reported to the fashion police and fried before a court.

If you want to see the result of a world ravaged by Swine Flu then be prepared for a shock, as in all good zombie films, the latest and very real outbreak seems to be nothing more than a virulent yet recognisable influenza germ. However I am sure that behind the scenes doctors, scientists, politicians and the army are all running around in panic, up and down corridors, talking on red phones with flashing lights, then back up and down more corridors before some bearded scientist bursts into a secret meeting packed with generals and multi-millionaires and starts to harp on about “this is IT, this IS the end of the world!”. A few months later we will all look like the following t-shirt design…

Zombie Stars T-Shirt

It’s a sad but true fact, if one doesn’t buy the Swine Flu protection t-shirt (induces laughter as a deterrent to oncoming pigs) then this will be the result, Tony has done an excellent job in depicting exactly what the ravenous results of the Swine Flu outbreak could be, this of course is the most blingin’ example of the zombie, The Zombie Star.

If you have no hope for the future, and I can’t blame you, if it isn’t the pigs that get us then what next, you should seriously consider buying the Zombie Stars tee. It can also afford some protection (although no guarantees) against Swine Flu infected zombies on the rampage. Simply give them a flash of your Zombie Star t-shirt and they will be temporarily dazed, dazzled and confused, assuming that in some way you are in fact part of the fraternity of zombies. Walk backwards as quickly as you can always displaying your t-shirt to the zombie before signalling a friend to blow their head off with a double barrel shotgun, alternatively poke it with a long sharp stick, or throw a large household appliance at it and then run.

To keep up with all the latest news and views with other Swine Flu and Zombie Star t-shirt aficianados check out these Twitter pages:-

http://twitter.com/swineflutees

http://twitter.com/zombiestars

If the pigs don’t get me the zombies surely will, see you in the next life ;)

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