Wear A Shirt To That All Important Interview

October 27, 2008

I suck at interviews. The only really important one I’ve ever had (except a few to get in to art college yonks back) was for Campaign Magazine, it was way back when I though I could possibly stand working for someone else, 9 to 5 as Dolly used to squawk. However it was all down hill after they gave me the job. the truth is I had the strangest experience at the group interview stage, yes there are a few companies who still bother doing that, don’t ask me why, perhaps they are looking for natural born leaders. If the Haymarket Group which owns Campaign Magazine thought I was a leader then they were profoundly mistaken. All I’ve ever managed to do is lead people up the garden path, metaphorically speaking that is. I don’t mean I grab strangers and walk them up and down the back of my house (which is only a very small patch of decking anyway), that would be too weird, even for me.

Anyway to cut a long story short (is that even possible Paul?), I sat there gormless as ever, waiting for a chance to chip in my two bits worth when suddenly I had my first and perhaps only experience of astral projection. Who knows maybe it was nerves, or the Zen-like plateau you reach after 100 coffees. It was rather dull really, I found myself staring at the corner of the room, I could hear a lot of laughter in the background, some loud-mouthed corporate jerk was cracking jokes left, right and centre. After a while I felt quite relaxed, I was zoning out big time, when all of a sudden someone slapped me on the back, pretty hard actually. I jumped back into my body and realised I’d be making jokes with a bunch of suits that I’d detested just moments ago.

I’ll never forget this line from one of the spotty execs next to me, he said, and I quote, ‘Mate, if I ran this company I’d hire you like a shot!’. I was totally freaked. My mother had kicked me out that day with a One Day Travelcard and an Oxfam suit and told me to ‘go for it!’. I was 3 months out of art college with no idea what I was doing, I had a hell of a time trying to stay sane at that place, in fact I think corporate life left me kind of mental to say the least.

Anyway all better now…

Oh yeah, this is a funny tee I found at Allmightys.com called ‘You Are Hired, Good Sir!‘ which probably explains the mini-rant back there…