New Tees at SplitReason.com

Welcome to the dark side, SplitReason.com (who I’ve featured before) have sent in a few of their latest designs and they are distinctly leaning on the macabre side, but don’t worry they haven’t left their famous sense of humour, I’m tempted to do a full whack review of this label as they have plenty of goodies on offer but I’m committed (I should be - to a mental home) to helping out a couple of new designers on the verge of breaking an exciting new label that will need all the PR it can muster.

So for now let’s take a look at three new tees at SplitReason…

In their inimitable toon stylings this one made me laugh, ever fancied an exotic pet?

Rainy Day at Umbrella Corp T-Shirt. If you’ve ever played Resident Evil (who hasn’t?) or seen the excellent trilogy of sci-fi horror films starring the skinny but exotic and alluring ex-model Milla Jovovich you’ll know what this one’s about. A story of genetic experimentation gone mad, this t-shirt is a hilarious take on the whole theme, I’m sure you wouldn’t get much trouble from the local thugs that breed Rottweillers and the like, (have they banned those in the UK?), although I doubt you’d be able to strike up much of a conversation with dog walkers in the local park. I’m not sure if I’d fancy one of these mutant monsters climbing up the curtains and terrifying my cats but I can see the advantages. You’d never be short of silk for a start, what’s more you’d never need a fly zapper, although they’d probably eat you out of house and home.

Fate works in mysterious ways, I’ve just reviewed Blood is the New Black, and now it seems that SplitReason’s favourite colour is dead!

The Colour of Dead T-Shirt. I was never a fan of crayons, except as a kid when I had a tendency to eat them, along with (as I am reliably and erm hilariously informed every Christmas by one or other of my parents: paper, cardboard, polystyrene, plastic, wood etc.), I must have amazingly strong bowels, not the sort of thing you expect to read at a t-shirt reviews blog.

Let me warn you now, telling people about your bowels is a definite conversation killer. I’m not sure if these crayons are quite dead enough for me, I’d like to see more bits of the dropping off, the colour of death is usually a putrid brown, with a few flecks of green and red if your lucky, but then again who’s going to buy crayons of that colour? Zombie crayons - definitely a new one on me.

Peek into the Dark Side is one for the Star Wars fans, if you have The Force, don’t use it for good or evil, just use it to have some fun, and who knows maybe you can make a little money out of it too.

I’ve always wondered what it would be like to have unlimited powers, I’d probably want to explore space, there’s only so many mere mortals you can pick on before you’d get bored. I used to love Star Wars, I even saw the premiere in 1977 (showing my age again), my mum and dad had just got divorced (which was unheard of back then) and a friend of mine Darren Cole (useless at karate, lonely but spoilt only child) had rich parents, apparently his dad was a builder to the stars. He’d secured tickets to a crazy new movie and they took me along out of sympathy, it was one of the most amazing experience of my life (and no drugs involved except for the crazy artificial additives in the sweets and drinks back then - Kia Ora high!), Industrial Light and Magic had done Britain proud (that statement is a rarity from me - putting ‘Britain’ and ‘proud’ in the same sentence), without all the fireworks I very much doubt I’d have loved the first Star Wars film half as much as I did. I stayed faithful for two more, but don’t even mention the latter three, they suck so much I’d be suicidal (if my name was George Lucas).

i can’t end a post with the words George Lucas, that would be a crime (not unlike his later works). Ah well I’ve little more to say except if you’re a geek, a sci-fi addict, a horror movie buff or toon fan you really should check out SplitReason.com - my MacBook spacebar has started squeaking by the way.