Oct

Bonèr Clothing – Sexy If You’re Crazy

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T-Shirts, boner clothing, bonerclothing, funny, indie-casual, limited edition, mad, shirts, tee shirts, tshirts, weird

Bon√®r Clothing are a sweet little label with a cool range of endearing if not slightly strange tees that should tickle your fancy (if your fancy is on the bizarre side, or most likely the dark side of the moon of Bizarro World). But I’m in, I love mad, the condition not the magazine. Besides I am mad for a start, I love weird films, and crazy art, and crazy people as long as they don’t have a wardrobe of strait-jackets and protest for their rights through the art of defecation.

To the tees, does Bon√®r give me a boner? Well no, to be honest I don’t get sexually aroused by clothes, I know there are most probably some guys out there right now somewhere in the world begging their girlfriends to wear that cheap set of nylon stockings and suspenders they’ve just bought at the local adult store, or maybe worse. Maybe they’ve decided to wear the get up themselves, either way I’m not that way inclined. But still, it’s funny and I like funny, funny ha ha that is.

If you’re worried that BC is trying to compete with the whole bad taste sexually insulting market you’ve come to expect from more infamous sites like T-Shirt Hell you’ll be relieved to find out you’re mistaken.

Anyway, here’s a good one for starters… BC’s Grandpa T-Shirt.

In all truth I don’t really get it, but I don’t think I’m supposed to, I mean I’ve never considered wearing shoes on my chest before, but if I was going to wear one there, then this would most likely be the one.

As the t-shirt says you’ve ‘gotta love the old school’. This design is perfect for all those of you burned out by the constant harping on of my sort about everything under sun, the problems of the world, you know, the impending ecological doom, yes that old chestnut. I watched a documentary recently about the Amazon Rainforest (that must be over a few dozen by now), and the saddest thing was the fact that the ‘baddies’, the guys chopping down the trees, had 100s of millions of dollars in equipment; ships, trucks, planes and armies of dodgy geezers carting the wood around. Whilst the police force numbered around 15, and had one rusty old helicopter to their name, and that kept breaking down at the most inopportune moments. We’re doomed I tells ya! Anyway old people are funny aren’t they? Well until you find you’re old and decrepit and sitting in your own poop talking to yourself at the rest home. Still it made me laugh.

The Shoe Shine T-Shirt is cool too, as BC informs us – ‘The badassest single shoe you’ll ever wear on your chest. So simple, so minty clean.‘ So true, so very true.

In truth I don’t really get it, but I don’t think that’s actually the point here, it’s never about logic or pithy quips when it comes to Bon√®r – they’re a world unto their own and you either have to dig it or you don’t. Besides, if I was going to wear a single shoe on my chest then this would most likely be the one, I particularly appreciate the rockets at the back. Then again, if i could ask you a big favour. If you find me wandering aimlessly in the street with a shoe on my head that’s a different matter, in fact if you do just do me a favour and call the local nut house – and don’t take my word for it if I insist it’s a fashion statement. I’d most probably be lying.

I could really do with the next tee myself, The Battery T-Shirt is for all those poor souls out there feeling rundown at the moment. I’ve just heard about something called ‘Recession Flu’ – any excuse to skip work – I don’t know, perhaps it’s time to ban bankers, banks and money altogether, you never know it might work.

I love the drawing style at this label, scratchy but confident, sort of 60’s art school dropout if I had to give it a name. Very free and easy, it’s funny how art works, either it does or it doesn’t and this does. Guaranteed to recharge your batteries.

Let’s end on a more serious note, this one’s called Elephant.

This tee has one of the strongest messages I’ve seen in a long time. I heard recently that Ebay has just decided to ban all ivory sales, I suppose we could say better late than never, and yes I’ve heard the arguments before, most of the ivory was culled from elephants over a century or so ago, but really would you be able to tell? I’m no antiques expert and I doubt most Ebayers are either, so rather than risk the death one single more of these majestic creatures, I think all ivory products should be locked away somewhere, never to see the light of day again.

After all there are plenty of good substitutes out there, and even though I’m as big a fan of music as the next guy, I wouldn’t ever want to contribute to the mass slaughter of yet another endangered animal. I’ve got an idea for all those piano makers out there looking for a little knocked-off ivory, how about bones, human bones in fact. There must be over 6 billion humans on this planet now, we’ve filled up every graveyard 10 times over by now, dig some up and use that junk instead.

We, the human race, are only in danger of killing off every other poor soul that doesn’t happen to walk on two legs. Ah I don’t know, call it recycling if you will. By the way if you are a mentalist don’t take my words at face value, I really don’t want to read the headlines tomorrow if they mention a spate o mass grave robbing, it was a joke, honest :p Don’t use ivory, don’t fig up graves, just wear mad t-shirts and be happy… check out Bon√®r Clothing