Blood Is The New Black

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I only stumbled this one last night, yes at 3:30am, but luckily I still felt exactly the same about Blood is The New Black after a long sleep and an even longer grey British morning of slogging away at my (f)art. So what’s BITNB all about? God knows, but I love it. It’s like I’ve accidentally bumped into The Velvet Underground of the t-shirt world and I couldn’t be more pleased (with myself :p).

There’s flash. there’s plush, there’s cool, there’s funny, there’s crazy, and then there’s these guys, their style? Well if you can call it that, a ragtag muddle of crazy artists and designers, their style is so way off the scale I’m all out of adjectives (for once). All I can say is they make me feel sick in a good way, not sick with envy, not sick of the sight of anything in particular, but a strange and rather wonderful home sickness for a life I’ve never had.

If only the friends of my youth had been as together (and untogether) as this demoniacal motley crew I’d have probably started a revolution of some sorts by now, oh to be as reckless and carefree as these loonies.

Sure it looks like a kid drew it, but this kid did it first! I mean if you’re going to target anything on the net for a bit of healthy yet highly cynical rib-tickling then Google has to be high on your list. I can’t stand the way we’re all Googled up to the hilt, at least the spell-checker offers some consolation, it’s obvious Google hasn’t quite made it to status of a verb (quite yet), although I wouldn’t be surprised if The Oxford Dictionary isn’t busy scribbling that one in right now. Google is a bummer, it means funny, witty, interesting, novel lunatics have to compete with clever so-and-so’s who live their lives through the mantra of search engine optimisation. Search and Destroy, if you must, you must.

Tees for Sale is downright nasty! I was going to show one of Das Monick’s prettier tees, but I couldn’t resist this ugly mofo. After all it reminds me of home, which is right here, in a tacky seaside town at the nether end of the UK. It’s dark and miserable out there right now, the beach is most likely swirling under a storm of spume and brine, but I won’t even bother looking out of the window because I’ve seen it all before. God it’s so the end of the Summer, even the tacky little souvenir shops on the promenade have lost all their charm, there’s nothing worse than a British seaside town on the downward slope to Winter. This t-shirt says it all for me, a handmade sign in a dirty old gift shop that you’d never normally bother with, except there’s nothing else to do now, you’re stuck, this is your only choice, this or oblivion. Someone pass me the sleeping pills please.

OMG Keren Richter you are hardcore, yes she is, don’t argue with her. Boxing by Keren Richter. What can I say? Am I getting old? Most probably. Do I like this, I’m not sure. Should it really be a t-shirt, who cares, it’s a work of gratuitous genius. If you’re going to get nasty at least make sure it involves two scantily clad women I say. Then again Keren has deftly managed to reduce the eroticism in this image to a near zero, it’s just jaw dropping isn’t it? I mean, ouch mate, that looks painful. I wouldn’t be surprised if Keren modelled for this one herself, I wouldn’t want to get the wrong side of her after a hard night’s drinking, especially if all I have to protect me are a pair of pants (that’s UK pants by the way, not the American sort.) Wear it if you dare!

Phew! …I’m sure you’re thinking. Yep a nice simple and rather attractive tee by Tiffany Malakooti, there’s probably no deep message here, it just looks great, and besides my girlfriend loves it so I thought I’d better include Feather. I’m loving Tiffany’s surname by the way, I’m thinking of changing mine, it might get me a little more attention for my own artwork instead of these reviews, ah well you can’t have everything. I’ve got a boring name but at least I can spend all day (and night and day) reviewing tees and moaning about the weather eh?

Ah, my student days, when everything that didn’t work, everything split, torn, burnt or broken was inexplicably left to rot in the garden for a year or so. But at least Travis can really doodle – man oh man! Travis Millard’s House is a veritable ode to slobbery, if only more people took his attitude we wouldn’t be living in a credit crunch right now. I remember when people were happy to make do, no matter how bad things got, it was called poverty, and no bank would touch you then.

Even a decade or so ago, if you broke it you fixed it, if you didn’t you had to live with it. I just saw a vid about all the junk the West sends over to China and India; old computers, TV’s, electronics of all kinds. No one seems to know how to fix anything these days, instead we just chuck it out and buy more. But not for long. Soon we’ll all be begging them to send it back, and we’ll pay, it’s all swings and roundabouts I suppose.

Like I said, like all these rather insane artists say – Blood is The New Black – now get your skates on!

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